We have 2 boys together and been married for 3 1/2 years.Its actually our 1st year of marriage together because we've been in different states because he was trying to join the army and then when he did he went to boot camp, A.I.T, more schooling, and then Iraq for 15 months.So being our 1st year together its hard because we have to adjust to our marriage, he has to adjust to being a dad, and we have to adjust to living together.We do go to marriage counseling but its not really helping.Some days we go without fighting for 3-4 days and then we will argue again.Its not bad but when we get into the Huge and big fights which will happen once a month its bad.He has alot of anger and he punches holes in walls and brakes things like his laptop or my cell phone.When we get into those fights he always says he's over me and we are done and he wants to find a lawyer and throws his ring back at me.But the very very next day he says sorry for what happened and says he'll change.I always believe him and forgive him and then we go back in a circle again.
For the past 2 months he's been telling me how he really wants to buy a house.I really don't want to but I feel like Im going to give in soon.Does anyone have any advice on how I can say NO another way?? I just don't see the logic in buying a house because I don't see our future together.I don't want to have anymore kids with him or buy a house because things are just not good between us.When he says he wants a divorce every month its kinda hard for me to get past that even when he says sorry.I used to say it too but after going to marriage counseling I haven't said that in 5 months but he still does.Im over hearing it or saying it.Just do it if you want to.
Im really stuck because the thought of buying a house is like a dream of mine but I really don't want to go through even more stress that it would bring if we did split up.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?You are right in thinking you must have your marriage in order before thinking of getting tied to a 30 year mortgage with a guy you can't make it thru a month without him threatening to leave.
You are long overdue to a sit down talk about how things are going in your marriage. Tell him you share his goal of getting a house, but only AFTER a proven track record of no less than 6 months of a stable marriage. This includes his outburst which damage property. He can attend counseling for his anger, and you can continue marriage counseling do address the fact you argue instead of problem solve. Also address the monthly treat of divorce, this pattern is not acceptable and you must tell him you will not have him tell you that again without you taking action to actually divorce and move out with the children. He must realize that the two of you are not giving your children a healthy, safe, stable home to grow up in if you are arguing monthly and sometimes for 3-4 days. Your children can tell their is tension in the air.
You picked the guy, you had kids with him so now it is your job to work hard and try to save your marriage.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?There'd be no way I would buy a house with him. He likes to tear s.h.i.t. up.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?If your feelings are as strong as they sound then don't do it. You are right that it will just be added stress. Fix the marriage first then the house.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?Wow...it sounds to me like your husband may have some-kind of post traumatic stress going on with the violent outbursts. If you feel that nothing is helping your situation via counseling, then you really need to be upfront with him. Maybe its time you call him up on his threats, and set up the lawyer appointment. That just may shock him enough. Absolutely do not commit to a house until your marriage is in order.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?No you should not buy a house. If your marriage is on the rocks you need to get your marriage in order before you commit to buying a house with someone who you may not be with down the road. Only buy a house when the two have fixed your marriage. Tell you would only agree to commit to a house after the two of you have fixed your marriage. If you know that your marriage is on the rocks, he does too.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?MY HUSBAND WAS IN THE ARMY AND WE DID ALL THE SAME STUFF, THOUGH WE BOUGHT THE HOUSE RIGHT AFTER WE WERE MARRIED. WE'VE SINCE MOVED BACK HOME WHEN HE WAS MED BOARDED AND THINGS HAVE BEEN ROCKY. NO WAY I'D MAKE AN INVESTMENT LIKE THAT. ESPECIALLY IF YOU DONT WORK OUT AND TRY TO SELL YOU'LL LOSE TONS IN THIS MARKET.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?I just read the question, not the book you wrote. The answer is NO.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?Buying a house will only give him an official green light to keep abusing you. Can't you see that? Please go online and find out about the abuser's signs before he strikes his wife and sends her to the hospital, or worse, kills her. And yes I am trying to scare you. He has all the signs.
You are only stuck with your insecurity, you are free to do with your life what you want and make sure you are giving your children a good example or they will grow up thinking that violence and abusing women is a normal way of life.
My advise, get away from him as soon as possible. Your dream of buying a house can come true but not at the cost of your sanity and life, not with him... and don't ever substitute peace, dignity and love for a roof with walls.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?Why don't you just tell him everything you just told us? I think that sounds like a very legit reason to not want to make such a huge commitment. Tell him if he can prove to you that he's going to take the marriage counseling seriously and show you that he really wants to change and can change, then in a year you guys will start looking. But if once a month he wants to throw tantrums and get a divorce then when that year comes, you guys can get the divorce he's been asking for.Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?no -- don't buy a house if your marriage foundation is very unstable. I'm surprised you're still with him! I'd be scared **** with someone so emotionally/physically unstable!Would you buy a house even though your marriage is rocky?you cant be forced into buying a house. just dont sign the paperwork or put in for a credit application. dont go to the bank, the mortgage lender, the real estate viewings, etc.
if he's going to buy a house on his own, i dont think you'll be able to stop him anyways. just make sure your name isnt on it and that you dont pay any of the mortgage.
not every dream should come true at every second. sometimes dreams should come true when you are ready for them to happen. it sounds like you think this is the wrong relationship to get into severe financial debt. then that may mean it's not the right time for this particular wish to come true. it may be the correct choice to not buy a house right now because it may negatively affect your and your kids' futures.
