no one of us wanted it to go as far as it did
how come a bunch of roses became torn leaves
we knew something's wrong but we had to proceed
each biggest passion is taken by god's thieves
promising me you would change as much as you can
we both rided speedily on a car without brakes
everything went gradually too far as much as we ran
walking as a blind while unknown troubles are next
the soft touches started saddening and causing pain
a %26quot;foreign%26quot; person cuddled me, I just tried to escape
when I ain't placed in your heart , what it contains
the flower you held, keeps drying out, left scape
tomorrow is a new day, so why it still has past memories
it's not a matter of time until my scars disappear
we always play lovers while everyone stands and sees
they all know why despite of that we're still having fearI wrote a new poem , any opinion?Nissim, why are you making it difficult for people to appreciate what you have to say? By having practically no punctuation you are saying.....I don't care if anyone understands this, I do...but, surely you should be trying to communicate?
(incidentally - it should be we both rode speedily in a car - is English not your first language? I'm not trying to belittle you....it just seems an odd construction for an English speaker)
This might be a poem worth reading - but, it is too much trouble for me to decipher which is a pityI wrote a new poem , any opinion?I mean... It's one of those poems that makes no sense... It sounds better than most of the yahoo answer poems... But this still needs a lot of work.
And punctuation please....I wrote a new poem , any opinion?It sounds good just you have to make your main idea of what your trying to say clearer
please answer mine
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvGoxW1p3YRY2E91Z3NRLtpp.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20080810124738AAg3ake
