I been working on a new song and i want to know what you guys think of what i got so far!
I know some of it doesn't fit but idk what to do with those parts!
I'm wide awake,about to brake,
throwing body's in the lake,
agressions got me by the neck
for goodness sake
just send the snakes or pull the brake,
its the second fake and i cant take
another day,
because its the end of may
cus i am in here and full of hate
for indirected killin g's or incorrect abillity's
to fill Mc's full of unrecked apeal and he
cant stop the will in me
to make you see a real mc
so take your seat and you will see
the truth can be, a walk to see
a killin bee a soon to be, ready to reach
a class to teach, a real treat so don't beat
and keep your feet, it aint defeat
that stole your jeep or your freak
so we can take it to the street
N' we can bleed
Level Deeds and Cool your C's
We're just here for Q's and P's
we could end this in the scene
just please
**** it, this is lame
your all the same
Nothin i could do could ever make you change
or make ya strain, about the frame.............
of tha fame of the cain
cus you cant do anything,
i sank the game its just insane
and faked the same, then made it rain
we recked the train, it aint no game
we in society of variety
pullin ya kniffes on me
not like anyone else could see
you fallin down ya balcony
and while they askin how can he
take another ounce of E-
X-to the-C, to set him free
make these motha ******* climb a tree
and make um pee
in they pants, with riddin aunts
but, no they cants cus theyre in a trance
and without them there aint a chance
So they look up to you
hell i aint lieing we all do
We even see what you do when we aint lookin
from where you eat to what your cookin'
don't be shooken, its just a picture tooken
a common foot an we are waiting for you to mess up
But it wont happen
you know it,
All you tell us is lies and we know it
but were blind and buzzed so we all blow it
over are heads and start
Callin feds, and throwin lead
just straighten our heads and buy our bread
But its been said followin this life style will get you dead
2nd one(Didn't fit with the rest of it)
If i had a million dollars I would stuff it in my drawers
put it on a track and give it back like it was yours
then buy ya a car and take ya round on tours
tell ya the pains gone and that whats mines yours
Dont ever for get that, we changin course
Its truth, its gone, but my love is yours
i'm prayin for ya moms, i'm even on all fours
i know its hard but we need to use force
I'm gunna show ya all what i can do with rap
put it on your speakers and leave it in your stack
chill back and listen to the game get cracked
i'm bringin rap back to the 90's completely in-tact
its an attack on your nerves and your contract
gunna bring it back hard and show you how to act
when the roofs down but foundations aint tapped
undergrounds alive and we carrying the sack
cus we gunna bring it to your house and leave it on ya mat
tell ya the house is gone and bring around a surprise attack
and when it falls down we gunna smash it with a bat
So, rate it and tell me where it needs improvement!I know most of you hate these but....?The content is something that has been covered many a time before especially the way in which you present it. Try being more specific and less broad and by this I mean going in either direction, extremely abstract or extremely blunt.
Your rhymes are also very simple, which is usually only overlooked if the substance is in somehow notably creative. So definitely work on that as well.I know most of you hate these but....?ya thats pretty dope! so do u have anything recorded uploaded online?I know most of you hate these but....?Its nice! I would rate it as 3 out of 5!I know most of you hate these but....?Songs dont always have to ryhme. You did good.This is an exaple.%26quot;cus we gunna bring it to your house and leave it on ya mat
tell ya the house is gone and bring around a surprise attack
and when it falls down we gunna smash it with a bat%26quot; IThat parts a little to ehh
Out of 5 id give u a 2I know most of you hate these but....?It's great I wuld buy it.
Can you answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?I know most of you hate these but....?you need beats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFFqP5HjK
