1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
38. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speakDo you know, I've not thought of it like that?19 and 31 made me laugh the most. and 20 did rather remind me of your wonderfully modest %26quot;about me%26quot; section.
keep them coming theyre gold. and ofcourse so are you : )Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?Haha, these are great. Love it :DDo you know, I've not thought of it like that?12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
LMAO does that mean the first mouse got killed in the mouse trap? That's funny.Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?i never read long stuff on answers but this was good!Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?Hahahahhaaahahaha.
Very funny. STAR.Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?LOL
For number 12, were you referring to cut the cheeseDo you know, I've not thought of it like that?haha. I love them. where did you get them? i know ive heard a lot before, so no offense but I'm guessing you didn't come up with them.Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?They all were really funny, even if I heard them before! Oh and to %26quot;Brains...%26quot; it means the first mouse got stuck in the mouse trap, and since the metal bar thingy doesn't work anymore, the second mouse got the cheese.Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?Ha ha very good,,it explains a lot,Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?OMG
as if i didnt have enough to worry about
real funny
excellentDo you know, I've not thought of it like that?lol lol lol, I like the brake repair one best hahahahaDo you know, I've not thought of it like that?Did you make up some of those?
I like them, most are very good.Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?XD! Here are some more:
Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you critcise them, you will be a mile away and you will also have their shoes.
Trapezoid: A device for trapping zoids.
Celebrity: A person who works their entire life to be recognised, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
I got kicked out of uni for cheating on my metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the person in front of me.
Light a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, %26quot;Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.%26quot; I spent last summer folding it. I also have a full-size map of the world. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, %26quot;E6%26quot;.
My father always said laughter is the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us ended up dying of tuberculosis.Do you know, I've not thought of it like that?say nothing and you will still be judged
enjoy
