1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like . . . night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.
15. Okay . . . so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to death.........twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened?
25. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
26. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrowI'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?lol......... some of them are really funny!!
i loved the last one especially. also numbers 11,13,16, 17, 18, 21, 23, 24 and 25 :)
you should have written these first. anyways, i giv you 10/10 for your joke and 11/10 for your effort, thanx for writing sooo much, i had a great time reading through!!!I'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?Yes, I chuckledI'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?those are cute!!I'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?lolI'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?yea they are cuteI'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?I particularly liked number 10. Most are clever. Some, just cheesy, like number 9...
Thanks for the giggle.I'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?those were good, and I never heard them... they're all true...I'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?Yeah! Better than most. :)I'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?thats pretty funny!!!I'm sure you've heard these before.. but did you laugh?good god your right
